Some people should not have the right to say whatever they want. Some people should have to prove they have the right to talk about others.
Thanks to all those who chimed in on a discussion that shouldn’t have been started in the first place. No, I don’t regret commenting on the “quote” she posted on her status. (if you don’t know who I’m talking about, it doesn’t pertain to you) but she made it everyone’s business and the man used to be my friend so it became MY business.
So the following “rant” pertains to a single-mother from a failed marriage making snide comments concerning her ex basically trying to place the entire failure of THEIR relationship on him alone. I know, I lived with the man prior to the marriage as his barracks room mate. When I got married, I lived across the street and spent many a night with the guy. We grew apart as friends, but I knew a great deal of what he was dealing with. So, the following is a result culminating from years of experience, both with him, and the ARMY, being a married man and a father myself, with MANY issues, least of which being physical.
If you don’t make every effort to make sure your soldier gets the care he needs physically, emotionally, mentally, and as a family, then YOU failed HIM. Soldiers are trained repeatedly for a reason. It instills the ability to act with little more than a single thought involved. It takes away the necessity to stop and analyze every single detail (I KNOW, I KNOW I’M GUILTY -nerd) and gives soldiers the ability to swiftly take action.
When soldiers put that training into action, and survive to come home to their families, that training doesn’t just go away. We are taught to deal with things a certain way… and there are a multitude of classes, resources, organizations, and even congressmen dedicated solely to the health of families of soldiers. Especially those suffering from PTSD, or in-other-words a dysfunctional method of dealing with other-than-combat stress.
If your soldier is behaving in a manner other than that of a typical human being, whether it be a man, or woman, reach out. ESPECIALLY if it is YOUR family. Contact his unit. Contact ACS, SFAC, or any of the other of hundreds of organizations DEDICATED to helping soldiers mend their relationships, and overcome their problems, BEFORE those problems turn into little bombs that explode and hurt everyone in the family, as well as their friends.
Many people, especially men (sorry dudes!) have issues confessing they have issues. Especially when it comes to emotional issues. If you think that is the case with someone you find important in your life, take steps.
Situations can often be resolved before they erupt into things like violence, drug abuse, self abuse, and even worse circumstances. Not all, but most.
If you think you have problems you can’t resolve. Don’t be the typical MAN… Do what’s best for everyone. I know better than most that I have problems I have trouble dealing with on my own. And since the incident in Afghanistan last year, I have come to recognize those problems, and I am receiving care to resolve or at least alleviate some of the problems resulting from the blast, and previous events in combat.
It works. No one is perfect. And if you think you can handle it on your own, you’re WRONG.
I thought I could, and I was wrong.